Rivet

We had a duckling with four legs last week but this is ridiculous.

How did they catch the little bastard anyway ?




Any ideas for a name for my new pet?

And no jokes about the frog saying "Well Doc, it started as boil on my arse"

Strange Places to Blog

O.K. it took me longer than 15 minutes to sort the piccies, but I had my instructions from The Bro so I wouldn't forget how to do it, and I need to practice just in case I get time to snap a few shots of Belgium next week. I am supposed to be working after all.

So I failed the 15 minute time limit but it is a strange place.

This is my refuge from the stresses and strains of work and the pressures of being a Deity.

I need my toys. The fishing gear is in the shed, there's no room for it all in here.

Next challenge, world peace and creating a link.

Funny shaped balls

First of all, well done to GG, Sassy and Lynn for knowing the formula which explains how "Beer goggles" work.
Also to Dive for a great Bill Bryson job on Ame & Bear and their trip to our green and pleasant land. (except for the twat who made off with Ames bag), we can only apologise for certain elements of the population and hope it didn't spoil their trip too much.

As for the funny shaped balls, yesterday was not the best for me. My beloved Tigers, (Leicester rugby club), lost to Northampton, our local rivals from down the road, thus ending a 33 game un-beaten run at Welford road (our home ground). We are top of the league and playing well, they are one place off the bottom and struggling, so we stood no chance. Last good run we had was un-beaten at home for over 50 games, which was ended in 2002 by, you guessed it, bloody Northampton. C'est la vie. Fair play to them, and with any luck it will give us a boost for the rest of the season. I just booked tickets for the Premiership final at Twickenham in May so we had better get there.

England fared no better at Croke Park with a worthy and record breaking Irish victory by 43 points to 13. Bugger, that will cost me a quid and 10 minutes of ritual humiliation on Monday from my Irish mate. At least the Sweaties and the Welsh also lost. Apologies to old K if he reads this.

I was looking forward to this weekends rugby fest as I have spent the last few weeks working late and trying to turn sows ears into show cars fit for the Geneva Motor Show. I love tight deadlines but this was as close as I want to get. We got finished Saturday lunchtime so I also missed my early breakfast at the coffee shop with Dive. Can't post any piccies yet cos it's confidential until press day but will try to do something for petrol heads in a couple of weeks and put up some pics of some of my babies from the last couple of years.

I'm off to Belgium next Monday for a week of wonderful test work on new paint systems and technologies. What a life I lead. I hope I get my reward and manage to blag a trip to Japan or Bushville later this year to "help the dealer network to keep our cars nice and shiny for the customers"!
Belgium is o.k as we usually manage to get to Brussels and Antwerp for a few beers during the week and the restaurants are really good over there so I get the opportunity to eat unusual stuff again. Had curry ice cream, frogs legs and bison last time, although not all on the same plate. They also get through a lot of horses milk !!!! maybe I'll give it a go...... or maybe nay.
There is a carrot museum in Belgium so I will try to find out where that is and I will try get some piccies of the stunning architecture in the main squares in both cities.
Can't promise to be up to the standards set by some people but there are touchy, feeley, rubby brass plaques and Le Mannequin Pisse, who has different costumes depending on the time of year. He was once dressed as Elvis with the white jump suit and rhinestones, honest!!

Ja manekes. God bless the phlegm's.

Another of life's mysteries solved

It's official, this is why you usually wake up with a minger after a heavy night out on the pull.

10 Q.I points for the first person to work it out.






KEY TO FORMULA

An = number of units of alcohol consumed
S = smokiness of the room (graded from 0-10, where 0 clear air; 10 extremely smoky)
L = luminance of 'person of interest' (candelas per square metre; typically 1 pitch black; 150 as seen in normal room lighting)
Vo = Snellen visual acuity (6/6 normal; 6/12 just meets driving standard)
d = distance from 'person of interest' (metres; 0.5 to 3 metres)

No worries mate

Just listened to an interview on the BBC news website.

Headline is "Drunk Aussie attacks a shark"

It's really funny, check it out if you can.
He was down by the jetty and after "a few drinks followed by another few drinks". There were people trying to catch some squid but a bronze whaler shark was hanging around and messing with their floats.
He then got some guys to lure the shark into shallower water, stripped off his strides and got into the sea.
"I climbed down a ladder and moved towards the shallows until I could touch the bottom. I got to titty height then made a lunge and grabbed him by the tail"
He then managed to get back to the ladder, haul up the shark and toss it into the crowd of fishermen and on-lookers.
"They're good eatin so I asked if anyone had a knife so I could kill it and bleed it, this one bloke gave me a knife the size of half a match................" and so on until the radio interviewer said he had run out of time and had to end the show.

Shades of "That's amazing" with Carl Hooper. Fast Show fans should remember.

OINK

Snuffle, snort, snort, oink, blimey...........a truffle !!

Happy Year of the Pig to one and all.

Ouch!!!

So, the snow has all gone here in Norfolk, and although we got off quite lightly over here I cannot help but think back to the winters from my childhood.
Those of you who follow Dives blog will have seen what that was like, and how nasty he was as a child. I always seemed to be on the wrong end of the snowballs.
It was thick snow from November to the end of Feb most years, or so it seemed, and the Country didn't grind to a halt. We walked to school, as usual, and if the heating didn't work, we kept our coats on and ran around a lot. Isn't progress wonderful.

(2 snowmen were having a chat, one said to the other, "can you smell carrots")?

Off to the City for breakfast with the Bro through a strange mix of weather from bright and cloudy to heavy sleety rain, mist, that fine rain that soaks you through (thank you Peter Kay) and back to bright and cloudy again, all in 10 miles.
Managed not to buy any musical instruments today, although there was a very nice acoustic guitar in the shop into which I was dragged in a futile attempt to locate some "treble clef" earrings, a gift which Dive wanted for a friend. (We did try P).

Got home and spent the next two and a half hours finding out what 15 years of not playing guitar means to my fingertips. Thanks Bro, that really hurts but I do have the first part of "Big black cow" almost sorted.

England beat Italy today, not a wonderful performance but a win is a win, and I'm sure that nice Mr Knudsen will be celebrating Scotland's victory over Wales. (shame for the Welsh.... he he, pass that wooden spoon please, we may be needing that in Cardiff in a few weeks time).

Anyway, must go, as I have a glass of good rioja in hand and a drum kit which is saying "play me now, play me now"

At least it will give my fingertips a break.

Horse's arse

I can't believe how long it's been since I was last here. No excuse really, apart from the Deity stuff, being really busy at work, getting pissed off with the England rugby performances, getting drunk during the festival of Bah Humbug, otherwise known as Christmas, sampling the excellent beer from the new brewery which a friend has just opened, playing my drums and letting my big brother convince me that I really really needed to buy a new guitar to sit on the stand which is all I originally intended to buy. Oh, and I forgot my log in and password, again!
Anyway, I also succumbed and bought a mobile phone, one of the things I have managed to resist for so long as I hate them with a passion. It has a very good camera which is the main reason for getting it so if I can get Big Bro to show me how to put pictures on here, there will be no stopping me.