Saturday, May 05, 2007

Antwerpen part 2

It's been a shitty couple of weeks, not the squirty tummy type but the phenomenally busy and hassle filled type.

Still, it's a long weekend and Leicester are still on for an historic treble after a tough semi-final against Bristol on Saturday afternoon. So Twickenham beckons again for me next weekend, organic burgers, Guinness and hopefully victory against Gloucester for the 2007 Championship Trophy.

Anyway, it's time to conclude the Belgium saga, as I had a bunch of them over here last week contributing to the hassle.

The spectacular building in the background is Het Steen. One of the earliest stone buildings in the City, dating back to the 13th century and first known as Antwerp castle, it was re-named around 1520 after significant re-building by Charles V. This led to the name "Heeren Steen" (Kings stone) later shortened to Het Steen.
The castle made it possible to control access to the river Scheldt running through Antwerp and was also used as a prison between 1303 & 1827. Part of the building was later demolished to provide materials to make roads to connect the North and South ends of the port and today Het Steen houses the National Maritime Museum. (sorry Lynn, no carrots but just for you here is the link to the carrot museum again).

Above the entrance is a relief statue depicting a man with spread legs who at one time also had a huge penis. It was visited by women in the hope of providing a cure for infertility. This oversize member didn't go down too well with the Jesuits and in the 17th century they gave him "the op" and removed his naughty bits, (no sense of fun those Jesuits).

There seems to be something about giants in Belgian folklore. Maybe it's the chocolate that makes them grow so big, but I saved the best one until last.

The big guy in front of Het Steen is Lange Wapper, Antwerp's version of the boogie man. A mythical demon known in many folklore tales in the Antwerp area. He appears here to be farting at some peasants but he was known for more than that.



Lange Wapper liked to live near water and loved to stroll along the banks of the Scheldt in Antwerp.
He could make himself as small as a child or as big as a giant and had a penchant for picking up fishing boats by the mast and throwing them around.
He liked to play "stamp on your hat" with children and enjoyed teasing drunks then vanishing with a devilish laugh.
He was also a bit of a "perv" who liked to get intimate with the ladies.
Using his powers, he turned himself into a white handkerchief in order to be picked up by a passing beauty and was tucked into her "under garments". He also took the form of a new born baby and laid himself on a stone bench outside the butchers hall. a woman who had just had a baby took pity on the crying child and put it to her breast. At this point Wapper returned to his true form and gave the young mother the fright of her life. Sounds like a top bloke to take for a night on the piss with the lads.

I have been promised a tour to Bruges with Anne, one of my Belgian conspiritors next time I get over there so this may not be the end of the Phlegms. Ja manekes.

10 comments:

GG said...

That castle looks fabulous! I wouldn't mind if it was the new GGHQ.
Lange Wapper (Whopper?) reminds me of some of the slimier blokes I've dated in the past. Although he sounds more polite.

[Hmm, another blog that doesn't allow anonymous comments. You and yer bro will be the death of me.]

Full said...

Hi GG, I'll pretend I don't know who you are.
Antwerp is a cool place if you feel like moving GGHQ, I've not seen too many clowns over the past 10 years so you should be safe.
Fantastic pics on your blog by the way.
My mate Junya is home in Japan for the next couple of weeks and has promised to bring back lots of "weird stuff". Still could get out there with him myself later in the year. Maybe a good idea to wear dark glasses so I can't recognise you.

GG said...

Excellent, let me know if you make it to these fair shores - I should be here for a bit. Um, I think. Still don't really know.

Ah, the anonymous thing is good coz it means I don't have to open a different browser and sign in. Yes, I really am that lazy...

Sassy Sundry said...

Wow. Giants shouldn't fart on peasants. It's not polite.

The castle looks amazing.

Full said...

So what constitutes an "oversized penis" Lynn?

They are all average you know.......except for mine, which is bloody enormous !!!
He He He sorry, couldn't resist a quick knob gag.

Cheltenhamdailyphoto said...

WELL!!! Oh, well there's length, strength oh and there's girth, too. I'm talking about your knob gags, Full.
he he i couldn't possibly say. All are ... welcome. Well. Clearly not all at once. And....er...not all, by any means. Oh gawd i'm in trouble here aren't i! Well anyway congratulations on your Full Packed Lunch lol! Strange how every man i know says he has an enormous one too! How odd. LOL.

dive said...

Fats Domino.
Now THERE was an oversized pianist.

Cheltenhamdailyphoto said...

lol Dive. I rather felt you would turn up with some sort of testosterone-sibling-based rivalry and boast about your member -

- ship of the Antwerp Architects Association.

dive said...

Hee hee, Lynn.
Not so much Antwerp as A Twerp.

Cheltenhamdailyphoto said...

ha ha! Twerp! Er sorry Dive no i wasn't calling you a twerp, you just reminded me of a long forgotten word! lol that's amused me. We're back to my 13 year old journal again aren't we hee he!